Lifted from other Wedding Blogs
Only special people are invited to be wedding guests. After all, guest lists are limited to a certain amount of people since the bride and groom have to pay for each and every person attending. Because of this, it is up to you as a guest to be mindful of the occasion and brush up on the proper etiquette. Failure to do so may not only result in your committing a major faux pas, but may also be insulting to the happy couple.
1. Each invitation has an RSVP date. Respond promptly on the time indicated. Failure to respond in a timely manner is considered rude and disrespectful.
2. There are other things to note on the invitation. For instance, if you are allowed to bring a guest, this will be indicated as “and guest” next to your name on the envelope.
If this is not indicated, you should assume the host is requesting only the honor of your presence and not that of your guest. It is very bad manners to show up at the wedding, guest in tow, when you didn’t RSVP for two people. This means the caterer will have to scramble to make sure they have enough meals, and the host will have to pay for that extra meal in cash after the reception.
In addition, if children are invited, this too will be noted on the invitation, either as “and family” next to your name on the envelope, or inside the invitation where children’s names will be notated. If this is not the case, assume you’ll need to hire a baby sitter.
3. If you are unable to attend the wedding, it’s still proper etiquette to send a gift.
4. When you are picking out your wedding day wardrobe, do try to be respectful to the bride and groom. Only a bride wears white to a wedding. For another guest to show up in white is disrespectful, no matter how cute the dress is. Black is also considered disrespectful in some cultures. You will want to make sure you’re not wishing bad luck for the bride and groom.
5. On the day of the wedding, do not be late. The last thing the happy couple wants is to have their wedding vows interrupted by the sound of heels walking down the aisle. If you are tardy, stand in the rear of the wedding location and watch from afar.
6. Even though we always see wedding guests snapping away during the ceremony, in reality it is considered bad manners to take pictures. The photographer has copies you might want to purchase, or you can wait until after the ceremony is over. You can also take all the pictures you want at the reception.
7. If the reception does not start promptly, it is up to you to amuse yourself.
8. At the reception it is likely that you will have assigned seating. Follow it.
9. Be mindful of speeches and announcements, there is nothing ruder than guests conversing amongst themselves while something important is going on. In short, listen
10. No matter how disastrous the event turned out to be you have no right to badmouth it. Remember that the couple planned this special day in celebration of a joyous event. Be respectful, be polite and be a good guest.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS FOR OUR GUESTS
Q & A for Wedding Guests
by: John & Benz Rana
Lifted from their site.
If it's your first time attending a wedding, what follows is a simple guide of Dos & Don'ts to get through such a social event. Note that we made these questions up so allow us to be sarcastic and blunt with some of our responses to ourselves.
Q. I got an invite but have no plans of attending; should I still send a gift?
A.First thing's first. If you won't be able to attend for whatever reason, please RSVP. A big chunk of the wedding budget goes to the reception and it will be utterly inconsiderate to just give up a reserved seat without letting the couple know. Give them the chance to assign that seat to another guest in their "waitlist." Having that out of the way, let's get to your question: YES, it is customary to still send a gift.
Q. The envelope bears only my name. May I ask if I can bring a date?
A. Don't bring a date unless your invitation specifically says "and Guest." Bringing unexpected guests is very impolite. Neither should you ask the couple's permission if you may bring one or not. Don't put your friends on the spot. We Filipinos don't really like turning down people. So how would you know if their "Yes" means yes or not? Spare them that trouble.
Q. The invite says "Mr. & Mrs." Could we bring our kids?
A. Never bring the kids unless "& Family" is indicated. Soon-to-weds don't usually invite children for a good reason. Kids get bored or cranky during hour-long masses. Their tantrums might disrupt the solemnity of the ceremony. Weddings are usually formal events typically not appropriate for the little ones. To be blunt about it, inviting a child at the reception means added two mouths to feed - the kid's and the yaya's.
Follow-up Q. But my son/daughter is the bearer/flower girl. I'm sure it's understood that my other child is invited.
A. Which part of the answer above didn't you understand? Seriously, if the couple wanted to invite your other kid, they would have specified that on the envelope.
2nd follow-up Q. But I'm breastfeeding, I'm sure my friends will understand, won't they?
A. Granting that it's an infant and he or she won't eat at the reception - let's even assume that your baby won't wail at the church - the answer is still NO! Not even if you've perfected the art of being a cow in a long gown. Four words: Breast Pump and Babysitter!
Q. I don't have a clue what gift to give them. Any ideas?
A. The average Pinoy soon-to-wed would always prefer monetary gifts more than any other gift. It is the unspoken fact. We're telling you now to make it easier for them to let you know what they REALLY want; unless they indicated that already in their invites which, by the way, is a very tacky thing to do.
If you're not comfortable giving cash, you may ask the couple where they are registered (Gift / Bridal Registry) and choose from what's listed under their names in the store. You can also ask them where they're residing after the wedding and take the cue from there. If you know that they'll be migrating abroad or living with their parents for the time being, a ref or another oven toaster may not be the most practical and logical gift.
Q. I'm convinced. So how much cash should I give them? I don't want to give too little or too much.
A. That's a hard thing to answer. It's really a case-to-case thing. Try to put yourself in the couple's shoes. How much should a guest of your stature give you without being branded a cheapskate? Also consider your relationship with the couple. If you're good friends of the couple's parents, you'll probably shell-out more than if you were simply the bride's Girl Friday.
Q. Could I skip the ceremony and head straight to the reception?
A. You can. BUT you shouldn't! You are invited to THE wedding -- that's the part where they exchange their "I dos." The reception is where the Receiving Line is. You can't be 'received' if you are already seated in the hall, right? "Patay-gutom" is too harsh a word and we assure you that it's by no means what anyone would think if indeed you decide to go straight to the reception. But admit that it struck a nerve just mentioning the word in that context, isn't it?
Q. Speaking of the Receiving Line, what should be the proper greeting?
A. Here's the rule: Say "Congratulations" to the groom and "Best Wishes" to the bride. The reason behind is that "congrats" implies that someone has caught something or won a prize, and it is rather improper to imply that the bride "caught" the man who married her. If this rule gets mixed-up in your head come wedding day, just say the two phrases together and look at both of them. That usually works!
Likewise, saying "Good Luck!" no matter how pure your wishes are will also sound very inappropriate for obvious reasons.
Q. Nice try, but what if the couple makes a Grand Entrance and left the Receiving Line to their parents? What then should I tell them? Note that I don't even know which sets of parents are whose.
A. Didn't we tell you already not to skip the ceremony? The bride and groom usually walk alongside their respective parents at the very start!
Anyway, make your pleasantries short and sweet. Shake their hands and say "Hello! I'm (your name) and I went to school with (name of bride/groom) in (school's name)/an officemate of (name of bride/groom) at (name of company)." They usually respond with "Nice meeting you." Just smile, nod politely, and move on to the next person. If one replies "Hi! I've heard so much about you!", simply smile and nod just the same. No lengthy conversation; just make small talk at most. If you can't find the words to say, just smile again, nod politely, and move.
Q. During the banquet, is there anything I need to know?
A. Nowadays, the Reception Program usually have the guests on each table stand up and have their picture taken with the couple before being led to the buffet. This is done to resolve two issues of past weddings: (a) for the couple's convenience and skip the tiring Table-Hopping ritual just to have their picture taken with all their guests; and (b) for the guests' convenience so they won't have to wait very long for their turn in the buffet line.
Keep in mind that Buffet is NOT synonymous with "Eat-All-You-Can." Do not pile your plate full. Be courteous of those who have yet to be served. Don't worry. You can easily go for seconds.
Q. I'm used to a Buffet setting, but what if it's a formal Sit-Down Dinner? Which fork do I start with again?
A. You're on your own, pal. Watch "Pretty Woman" again and see how Julia Roberts nailed it!
